Spiritual Fathers or Spiritual Grandfathers?
by Scott Volk www.fire-school.org
The hour is desperate!
I hear the younger generation crying out for ‘spiritual fathers’, yet, when they’re lovingly corrected and biblically rebuked by those very fathers, they write them off as being old-fashioned, traditional, and out of touch with what the Lord is doing in ‘their generation’. Maybe instead of fathers, they really want grandfathers who will simply pat them on the back, offering only grandpa-like encouragement and positive reinforcement.
I hear older men saying that they desire to be ‘spiritual fathers’, yet, they’re seemingly unwilling to get down in the relational trenches with the very ones that need to be fathered because their ministry schedules are too busy and they have more important things to do. Maybe instead of being spiritual fathers, they really want to be spiritual grandfathers who merely give a thumbs-up when ministry outwardly seems to be going well even though inwardly their grandchild may be withering inside.
Why is it that children enjoy being around their grandparents? Could it be that at grandpa’s house, where candy grows on the carpet and dessert is eaten instead of dinner, life is simply easier? Could it be because at grandpa’s house, we can do almost whatever we please since grandpa is really not responsible for disciplining us; he merely desires to keep us happy until we return home?
I want to humbly confront both the generation that is crying out for fathers as well as the generation that says they desire to be fathers with this simple challenge: it’s time to step up to the plate. It’s time that our words become something more than spiritual rhetoric. It’s time for spiritual wayward sons to honor their fathers and it’s time for spiritual dead-beat fathers to change their ways and assume the role that God intended them to have in their spiritual households.
We’re living in a generation that is desperate to see the fulfillment of the Malachi 4 scripture that proclaims, “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.” It requires a turning on both parties – fathers turning to their children and children turning to their fathers.
Now more than ever, when biblical standards are being compromised in the name of successful ministries, we need the fathers to lovingly put their arms around their children and guide them into all truth.
Now more than ever, as young people are being commissioned by the Word of the Lord, we need to turn to the fathers, lest our youthful zeal and heavenly calling lead us into dangerous areas of pride and arrogance, eventuating in colossal failure and shame.
I believe we’re at a desperate hour and that the Lord desires to seize it for His glory. Fathers, let’s commit ourselves, by God’s grace, to allowing our hearts to be turned to our children; children, let’s commit ourselves, by God’s grace, to allowing our hearts to be turned to our fathers. Then and only then will the curse of Malachi 4:6 be avoided.
Labels: mentoring, spiritual fathers, truth, unity
posted by Art Thomas | Sunday, October 26, 2008
4 Comments:
A post worth waiting for. After a long absence you come back strong with guns a-blazing!
St. Antony of Egypt (4th c.) said: "I know of monks who fell after much toil and lapsed into madness, because they trusted in their own work... So far as possible, for every step that a monk takes, for every drop of water that he drinks in his cell, he should entrust the decision to the Old Men, to avoid making some mistake in what he does."
If a monastic needs guidance, how much more does the average Joe Christian?
Many are reluctant to take their role as Spiritual Fathers because they don't feel they are properly equipped. To them I say, "You should feel inadequate!"
We are powerlessness to heal the wounds of humanity solely through philanthropic programs, common sense, and psychiatry. When our complacency is broken down, we appreciate our own inadequacy, and start to recognize our dependence on the Holy Spirit.
So, what are the qualifications needed to be a Spiritual Father (or Mother)? Mature experience with the Holy Spirit is foremost followed by a desire to love others.
I've found that the struggles and needs of "this generation" are actually no different than what past generations experienced. We like to think that our walk in Christ is somehow unique, but that's just an illusion. There is one Spirit, one God and Father of all.
Here's a little history lesson: in the seventies the "Shepherding Movement" came along led by Bob Mumford, Derek Prince, Charles Simpson, Don Basham, and Ern Baxter. They wre responding to the need in the charismatic movement for greater accountability, character development and deeper relationships. Unfortunately the movement gained a reputation for controlling and abusive behaviour, with a great deal of emphasis placed upon the importance of obedience to one's own shepherd. In many cases, disobeying one's shepherd was tantamount to disobeying God. Mumford and Prince eventually left the movement.
This abuse in the past may be why many of the elders in Pentecostal/Charismatic communities are reluctant to get too involved. Even if a leader is not a control freak, some people can become co-dependant and not buy a car without approval from their spiritual authority.
On the flip side are the "lone-wolf" Christians who reject any kind of guidance. I think part of the resistance to direction is a systemic defect in the Protestant DNA. "I just need my Bible and Jesus."
I realize that I've covered a lot of ground here. What it boils down to is that Christianity is lived in community. Why do you think the Church is called the Body of Christ?
We need each other, young and old.
I'm having a problem with this article. The comments about 'I just need my Bible and Jesus' struck a nerve with me. They implied that people are rebellious that have that attitude. I suppose that Christians that are not able to meet with other believers safely because of brutal regimes are just lost and undone. I laugh at the idea that Christians cannot live successfully without being around other Christians. Of course it is not the best but can be done or else God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit will never reach people in those countries.
Many of us sincere Christians when we were younger wanted input from older saints but were greeted like it was a bother to them. I depend on Jesus and the Bible. What's wrong with that? Leaders do go off the deep end. The Bible clearly warns about this. I'm not saying dump the body of Christ by any means. However what about these leaders that had the opportunity to train but for their own selfish reasons refused to?
I am not a parent. However those that are parents know that their children act crazy from time to time. A good parent hangs in their trusting that they will get it right when older. For the leaders to use the abuses of the shepherding movement or difficult trainees as excuses for not doing what the Bible says the five-fold ministers are supposed to do is something they will have to live with. There is nothing in the Bible giving them excuses for not doing this. The body of Christ has suffered because of this. And people wonder why a lot of Christians do not trust the leadership. Too many are not obeying the word about training for works of service and then threaten them with curses if they do not tithe to the local church. I learned more about what not to do than what to do. Probably for the first time in my life I have been at a church where the leadership is explaining what to do to mature in Christ.
Too many of them appear to have been jealous of other ministers or ministers in training and did not want to be upstaged. You also had the reluctance of training up women in a lot of circles. Many of us would have loved to have had the input of older saints in the Lord but they were not available. At least in the circles I was in single women were (1) to get married or (2) be left alone because of fear we would break up the homes of the married people. Maybe I'm still a cynic at times but I feel in too many instances the body of Christ is nothing more than dollars and cents for the leader's pocketbook. Some do not train because they need people dependent on them to (1) stroke their egos or (2) pay their bills.
I am one of the so-called older saints that had no choice but to learn how to walk only with the Bible and Jesus. Whether that was God's intent or not there are many of us that lived that way and pretty much will in the future. We are also the ones now being asked to reach out to the younger saints. I honestly do not know what that looks like. Many women probably do not other than to train them to be married. What about those of us that were not blessed to have that happen? I also have found in many churches that the training is just how to be a good Christian, especially when it relates to the nuclear family. The Bible says to train for works of service. That appears to be a broader training than just how to not sin, pay your money, volunteer, etc. This is pretty much throughout the body of Christ. It has been a really boring time for me personally as a result.
I am ultimately responsible for my own walk with the Lord. I and many have lived it the best we knew how depending on the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us along with the word of God without the guidance of the older saints. Maybe it is because those that should have been able to train still need training themselves even though they have been Christians for a long time. I just think it is wrong to put the blame on the children when the fathers did not do their job.
I'm glad that I can depend on the Holy Spirit when humans fail. It was a harder way to learn but I'm glad the lesson is being learned as I continue to walk with the Lord. The Bible says that we should be able to look at them as examples of following Christ. I just don't like the idea that it is our fault when the leaders were missing in action. I had nothing to do with that decision. I will do my best to reach out to the younger ones. However it will not be in the traditional sense.
Hi Pamela,
First, let me say that I've enjoyed and appreciated all your comments on this site--you always put a lot of thought and personality into them! I also want to say that I'm glad you took a step out to confront an issue with which you took question--it shows a desire for the Body of Christ to be built up in Truth rather than mere speculation.
So from that perspective, I'd like to respond to the questions you raised.
First of all, the article itself is more fashioned to call forth something that is not currently happening in a healthy way (in most places). So I hope no one gets the impression from the article that you're sinning if you don't have a "father" speaking into your life. True spiritual "fathers" are hard to come by, and I know many respectable pastors who have flat-out asked people to father them and been turned down. I can hardly call them sinners for being rejected.
The heart of the article, I believe, is expressed toward the end as the author describes the prophet Malachi's words "in the spirit and power of Elijah"--to turn the hearts of the children to their fathers and the hearts of the fathers to their children.
This is an end-time promise that must be fulfilled, and I know it cannot be waivered on. Just because people have largely failed at it for the past couple millenia doesn't mean it's not in God's will. It was prophesied, and we're beginning to see the fulfillment manifest in the church. Praise God!
Secondly, you mentioned the comment from mister corduroy about "just Jesus and me." I want to be careful how I respond to this because I do hear your heart and understand where you're coming from.
The fact is, I would say that people who abide by the idea of "just Jesus and me" are not rebellious--they're wounded. Such people have typically had their trust broken by others. They've been hurt by Christians, organized religion, leaders, and so forth.
This isn't always the case--there's also the crowd that is disenchanted with the way things are in the Church. They don't like the overall ineffectiveness, the petty inwardness, the selfishness, the hypocrisy, etc. And as a result, they've recoiled into a protective shell, longing for something real. These folks I would classify more as being "near-sighted."
In either case, though, I would argue adamantly that it's not a safe place to be. Even the Christians in the most persecuted nations put themselves in grave danger just to meet with each other. That's proof to me that they know how vital it is.
I think of North Korea where their idea of a "church meeting" is 3 to 5 believers hiding behind thick curtains, worshipping in silence. Likewise, in China, the Christians risk their own imprisonment and torture by actually going to the prisons and visiting other incarcerated Christians just for the sake of fellowship.
So I am certain that the most radical Christians are the ones who will go out of their way to fellowship with each other--even at the cost of torture and death. In America, however, we have religious freedom; which I like to say is nothing more than the freedom to be religious. We drift into self-centered religiosity in which we seek the path more than the Shepherd, and the method more than the Man, Christ Jesus.
I'm not saying that God can't work with an isolated Christian who has absolutely no one to meet with--that would be silly. But I am saying that such a case should not be an excuse for our own avoidance of people. "Do not neglect the gathering together of the saints!" Even that lone Christian, if they truly love Christ, would not remain long on their own before sharing the Gospel with someone else, thus being able to fellowship.
As I've said many times before, fellowship with the Body of Christ is fellowhip with Christ. By avoiding other Christians, we are avoiding Christ. By saying other Christians aren't necessary, we're saying that the only part of Christ that's truly necessary is the little tiny puzzle piece that the Holy Spirit has distributed to us. That's pride and selfishness. It's pride because we think we have the only essential piece of Christ that this world will ever need, and it's selfishness because we don't see a need to share that all-important piece with the rest of the Body. As long as we have Jesus and our Bible, who needs anybody else?
1 Corinthians 12:17-27--If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. (NIV)
Now I want to be clear that I'm not accusing you of any of this or condemning you in any way. I just want us all to be able to mature in Christ. If anything, I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you already know all this, which means what I've written here is just to help anyone who may have been confused with something you wrote.
But I'll also say, because I love you in Christ, that I will pray for any wounds that may have been caused by others in your past. I'm glad you're now in a place where you have connection with other Christians--both at church and even here on the Internet. It's healthy, and I'm glad you're sharing your part of Jesus with me.
God bless,
--Art--
You are right. I would never advocate NEVER being around other followers of Christ:) I have never been in a place of total isolation either. I was thinking more without the spiritual parenting, not total isolation. I have always had Christian friends, many across the country and now a new one in London. For me the time away was one of the best times in my life. However I have spent time away from organized religion. At the time I had already set in my mind I was going on with the Lord whatever that would look like. I was out of the system for about eighteen months. I sincerely questioned what on earth I was doing and if God was pleased with it. It was not a performance thing with me. I wanted to know how I was to walk in Christ. I just felt that I was in jail and had to do what they said. I was experiencing a walk with the Lord that in most places I was told it could not be. I think you can understand the conflict I had. I just refused to participate in something that I did not believe in nor did I feel could be supported by scripture.
The only reason I am a part of the congregation that I am now is that they are really trying to walk in the life of Christ and rejecting religion. They also believe that we are just as important as they are. They take their responsibility to train seriously. I am so grateful to see that. I am not experiencing what is traditionally know as spiritual parenting. However I am around leaders, men and women, that I can definitely emulate as the Bible says we should be able to do. I forget the epistle:) We have the opportunity to ask questions about things. If there is any 'demand' it is for us to MATURE AND GROW UP, learn how to hear the Lord and get on with what the Lord wants us to do. I am so grateful. After I started visiting I heard that a part of the purpose of the church is to rescue those burned by religion. It was no wonder I felt at home. It is the first time I have been around church leaders that did not make me cringe inside. That is pretty sad to me as long as I have been a Christian.
After reading your comments I can see what your intent of posting the article is. You are right in saying that God's word will happen. It will be interesting to see how that comes together. I can truly say that I have no ought against any of those leaders. I forgave them the best I knew how. A lot of the hurt truly has been washed away. Teachings that I heard from the pastor about how the enemy can get to a person really helped me have mercy in my heart. I can tell because I can speak of those leaders and there is no pain inside. However it is evident that I still need to get past some of the phrases and the old connotations that they had for me during those days. I guess one reason I still react is that I rarely hear them these days.
I do not know if I congratulated you on your engagement or not. If so please accept my apologies. I'm sure things are getting exciting for you.
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